My Group of Best Friends

This year, my "group" has turned into more of a "three people who sit together on the far end of a lunch table and cling to each other in the halls" type of thing. It's pretty lonely. Sitting with only two other people doesn't really look like a lot of fun to other people, and even though they're my best friends, it's not always fun.

Our group is especially sad when there's a dissension between two of us and the third person sits between the other two at lunch and tries to start a conversation about an assignment but they end up being the only talking. Last year we barely ever got in fights. Even when we did, there was always a good amount of people not involved that you could talk to; people who would take your side when they heard the evilness of the other person instead of staying neutral, or at least until everything was resolved.

To be fair, we knew this was coming ever since around this time last year when Sabrina and Ally made their big reveal and we realized we were gonna be on our own. We figured some new students would assimilate into our group because we are friendly, fun, and fabulous people, but as you may have noticed due to the stunning lack of filled chairs at our lunch table, that didn't happen. Over time, we had meticulously planned welcoming new students, and befriending new students, but there were less students than expected so the plan kind of fell through. Also, I don't think they really like us...

I can't really complain about our group though. The people in it are the best part no matter how many of us are there. We are all alike in one way or another and can relate in so many ways. We can always understand each other because we have all shared similar experiences. We are all dependent on each other, but at the same time, we are all leaders. We never pick favorites and we never lionize one specific member, unless they need some major cheering up.

Being apart has been the greatest challenge that we as a family have had to face, but soon, we'll all see each other again and I am counting the days...

The people you surround yourself with say a lot about who you are. I couldn't be happier with who I've chosen!

Havoc Strikes in Small Republic of Noname

The remote country of Noname (Just to let you know, I couldn’t come up with a real name so I considered Country That Shall Not Be Named but that wouldn’t make sense so I called it No-name. Feel free to pronounce it however you like, preferably in a way that doesn’t sound like the words no and name put together) is in a complete state of anarchy. Due to the protests of the citizens, the president has been forced out of power and civilians have seized control over the small country. Without the rule of a stable government, everything is spinning out of control as laws are ignored and all authority has been disregarded. It is estimated that at least 150 people have been killed as citizens fight over power the power to control Noname, and more is expected.

An anonymous source shares that there have been several groups conspiring to overthrow the government for several years and other nations around the globe say that they wouldn’t be surprised if it had been designed for many years in advance. “You can tell it’s been planned meticulously over the past years,” states the source. “It would take a lot of planning to overthrow a government as stable as ours was,” he finishes.

Bordering countries say that they cannot apprehend why such violence broke out between the government and its citizens. They also report that if this continues they will have to invade the nation and stop the violence themselves.

Thinking of Times to Come

I Am…

I am strong, but I’m afraid…

I wonder what it will be like when I have to leave…

I hear the laughter & the happiness that surrounds me now and dread the tears to come…

I see the people I love and the place I never want to leave…

I want to stop time and never have to go…

I am strong, but I’m afraid…

I pretend there’s enough time to make it last…

I feel the nostalgia creep up on me, though I haven’t left yet…

I touch my own sorrows that hang thick in the air, threatening to smother me…

I worry that they will forget about me too soon…

I cry about losing everything I’ve known since elementary school…

I am strong, but I’m afraid…

I understand that this will be a good opportunity…

I say “hope for the best, expect the worst;” I can’t tell if it's good or bad yet…

I dream that it will be easier to leave than I think it will…

I try to convince myself that I will be happy there…

I hope they’ll miss me just as much as I know I’ll miss them…

I am strong, and I hope I will be able to overcome.

Day 22: Love You Too

You can tell someone loves you
When they write profanity directed towards everyone
And you’re included.

You can tell someone loves you
When they will hold everything
And anything
Against you.

You can tell someone loves you
When they tell you they hate you
In front of everyone.

You can tell someone loves you
When they encourage you to list things you like about yourself
And then tell you what’s wrong with what you listed.

You can tell someone loves you
When they ignore the fact that something is private
And that it’s something you shouldn’t tell people
And they tell people anyways.

You can tell someone loves you
When they will emotionally abuse you
Just because.


You can tell someone loves you
When they will tell you that you’re fat
Even if you’re fighting low self-esteem.

You can tell someone loves you
When they hang up on you
And have the nerve to call you back
For homework help later.

You can tell when someone loves you
When they try to make your flaws
Looks worse than theirs
When they aren’t.

So all you people
Who just love me,
You know who you are.

Day 17: Happy New Years!

2010 is finally over and I feel like it went by so quickly. 2010 had some really sad times, but at the same time, some really nice memories came from it. Around February last year, Sabrina's parents had gone on a trip to Mexico to find out if they were moving or not. I had begged for her to tell me as soon as she knew but she refused and told me that Ally had some news too and that they wanted to share it together. Knowing now what they were gonna tell me, I think it would have been so much better if they hadn't told me during school because I had a total emotional break-down when they did finally tell me. We were sitting at lunch, waiting for the news, when Sabrina finally announced that she was moving, only with a shrug and a blank look on her face. I was a bit confused about what was going on exactly because as soon as Sabrina finished her sentence she left the table and everyone started talking in a sort of panicky chatter.

I jumped up out of my chair and followed Sabrina. Behind me, Tiffany followed. We asked her what the final deal was and she said that she would be moving to Monterrey that summer. At that point I was already really sad because Sabrina truly understands me better than anyone has. We laugh at the same stuff, we help each other out when we don't understand, and we did just about everything together; plus, she was my only friend who would cuddle. Not in a creepy way or anything. I mean, who doesn't love to cuddle?! Sick people don't like to cuddle. Anyways, so I was pretty heart broken hearing that Sabrina was moving, but then again, I had already prepared myself for hearing the news that she was leaving. Hope for the best, expect the worst. When I came back to the table, Ally was sitting there, just sulking. I asked her what her news was and that's when I was in shock. Ally told me that she was moving, too. I didn't see that one coming. That was really bad. For a second or two I was in shock. Tiff came and sat next to me, and asked me what was going on. That's when I told her that both Ally and Sabrina were moving.Tiffany sort of just stared at me for a while. I think it sort of hit us both at the same moment because withing second were both sobbing next to each other.

Worst day ever. Officially.

That's pretty much what ruined the rest of the year. Now though, that it's a new year, maybe things will get better. I mean, we'll still miss Ally and Sabrina insanely, but now we've been grieving a while so I think it'll be be a better year. Anyways, I just want to wish everyone a Happy New Year may all you reach all your aspirations and succeed in making this year, far better than the last.

Day 12: Victoria!

So Victoria came over and I was so happy because she's leaving to go to Saddlebrook (prestigious tennis boarding school) on the 2nd. I thought I'd better spend as much time with her before because I wasn't gonna see her for two whole weeks! I know two weeks may not seem like a lot, but when you have no one to talk to on the phone with for hours, it feels like 4 eternities. It's actually gonna be really lonely for me...I'm happy that she gets to go and also I totally resent her for being able to go everywhere all the time. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm really gonna miss Victoria. Why isn't there ever enough time to spend together?!