Day 1 of Winter Break

Not much has been really going on over here. I slept until about noon, so I already missed like half of the entire day. Doesn't really matter though, I'm not planning on doing anything important today anyways. After being up for a while I decided to eat some carrot bread for "breakfast" though I was only a couple hours away from lunch. That's when Miranda and I started fighting like we do every morning. So I'm getting out the carrot bread as Miranda dives for the banana bread with chocolate chips, this was only annoying because Miranda already ate all the Christmas cookies that came in the little baked goods basket the Sherry's give us every year. Mr. Sherry makes the best cookies ever, and I mean ever, but this year I didn't get any, courtesy of Miranda. I ate all the almonds though, so I guess we're sort of even.

Anyways, the banana bread is the best bread in the whole thing, not saying that I don't like the carrot bread because it's pretty awesome too, but I already knew that Miranda would finish the entire loaf before lunch in a couple hours. So I may have added a couple insults so that she would leave the kitchen and lock herself in another room so that I could hide the bread for when she came back, but the glitch it, she's a bit sensitive to my comments, so goes ahead and calls Mom about how I'm being mean to her and whatever. Of course, now I have to talk to her about how she doesn't like name calling and that I need to leave Miranda alone. I don't really mind though because I've already won and Miranda isn't allowed to have more than two pieces.

So after that whole ordeal I've just been in my room reading my book: Crunch Time, by Mariah Fredricks, who wrote a New York Times bestseller, The True Meaning of Cleavage, which despite it's provocative title and promiscuous cover, is a book about some really good friends apparently. I'm reading the other book though, Crunch Time, which is about 5 high school student who are taking the SAT's and one cheats so they have to find out who it was. I really like the book and I'm more than half way done, so hopefully I'll be done with it tomorrow.

Sally Hayes Monologue

I’m Sally Hayes, and I met Holden a few years ago. Our mothers are members at the same Fifth Avenue Club and when they met each other and became pretty good friends and ever since then, I’ve known Holden.

Actually, I went out to the theater just a couple nights ago. He called me up one day, it had been a while since I heard from him, since he goes to Pencey and I go to Woodruff. Last I heard, he was at Pencey, but he’s gotten kicked out of several schools, so I wasn’t so sure, but that’s typical Holden.

Anyways, he called me and invited me to go to this matinee. I could’ve gone out with any of these…5…no 6, other guys who are just grand. I felt kind of bad for him and I hadn’t seen him in a while so I thought I would go, I mean he’s not a bad guy so I figured why not?. He told me specifically to show up at 2:00 but I was about ten minutes late, I’m always running a bit late, he didn’t seem to really mind though, he was just sitting in the lobby, waiting for me.

I was only late because I was putting on my makeup and deciding what I should wear. In the end I just threw on a black coat and put on a beret outfit. It wasn’t a truly exceptional outfit, not one of the nicer ones, but still he made this face at me when I was coming down the stairs to greet him, like he was gonna start drooling or something; not that people don’t usually stare at me (it happens quite often).

Anyhow, He told me he had just bought two tickets to a play with the Lunts in them, and I just adore the Lunts. We went into the play and every time I glanced at him he looked either totally lost in thought or watching with a disgusted look on his face. I think he was even relieved when the play ended. That made me feel like he was really not enjoying the date, which has never really happened to me, so that was weird. And also, how could he not like the Lunts? They’re only the best actors of the century! I’ve been to about a thousand of their productions with my parents.

So when we exited the theater I saw this guy, George, he goes to Andover. We got talking for a while and Holden got really annoyed so I figured we’d better go. We went ice skating after that, only for a short while though, I didn’t think Holden was enjoying it much, and then Holden took me for a drink; that’s when things got pretty awkward. We were just chatting, the usual small-talk, like about school and things like that, when all of the sudden he got really worked up about how he hated New York, he said that I was the only reason he was here. Then he mentioned that he wanted to leave, that he would borrow a car take all him money and drive north. He asked me to come with him too, that we could go live in Vermont and that we could live on the money he had and when the money ran out he would get a job and that in the future we could get married, or something. I tried my best to be polite about turning down his offer because really I was quite worried about him and his plans, I mean, we are both practically still children. I can’t even imagine leaving home, and to a place as rural as Vermont? That’s insane!

He was making me feel really uncomfortable about not wanting to go though, I don’t think he even tried to see from my perspective, I wasn’t unhappy about living in New York like he was. He kept yelling about how we should, and asking me why I wouldn’t go. I kept asking him to quiet down and to be quiet, but he continued to scream at me. I got freaked out after that, he went pretty insane. After a while of being screamed at he left me there all alone and I decided to get a cab home, I was pretty upset too, he had been really mean. I really just wanted to forget this ever happened, and go home.

Wondering & Worrying

It was late at night; a cold, snowy night. That’s when I first saw him. On my way home from the late shift I noticed him walking down a small avenue, staggering around in the snow, clad with only a thin jacket in parka-worthy weather. He seemed to be in quite some pain, considering the grimace on his face and the chattering of his teeth.

I approached him gingerly to offer help; he seemed to be ill or dehydrated or something judging by the unruly zigzag motion he was walking in. When I reached him I attempted to show only a calm and reassuring disposition so that he wouldn’t fear the anonymous citizen (me) coming to aid him.

I offered him my help in a clear and concise way, but he simply rebuffed it spontaneously. What I mean is, I didn’t really expect him to refuse, especially in him his condition. Actually he seemed rankled by the offer, so I quickly surmised that he was an irascible person and that I would have to be patient to provide any assistance to him.

Now that I was closer to him, I was able to smell the alcohol on his breath that pervaded the air around him. I conjectured that he was only about 17 years old, but still, he was very drunk. He was in no condition to be wandering around, especially not in the snow. I entreated him to let me help him, but this time, he didn’t even answer me; instead, he looked lost in profound thought and then suddenly, in a tremulous voice, called out to someone named Allie, and began so interminable conversation with him.

From what he said I could tell he was pretty avid about Allie. He said that Allie was an affable boy; one to be emulated and admired. I endeavored to understand him, though I really couldn’t find a way to without the full story about Allie. After a while of babbling, his voice became firm and told Allie that it was imperative that he go get his bike and meet him in front of Bobby Fallon’s house. Soon, he snapped out of the mysterious trance and noticed the puzzled look on my face; that’s when he started explaining about Allie.

He told me about how Allie was his younger brother and about the painful battle with cancer that he encountered. He described to me how excruciatingly painful it was to lose him, and furthermore, how turbulent the path to moving on felt. He described Allie’s baseball mitt and the anthology of poems written on it in green pen. Then he told me about the loss of Allie had instilled anxiety in his mother, and depression in him. When he finished his story, he was left despondent, as though retelling the story had evoked memories of the gruesome death that haunted him and continued to reverberate in his mind.

I tried my best to comfort him, but he pulled away and stared at me like there was something wrong with me. At this point I decided to make a final attempt to help him, but I knew it would take a conscientious effort and a lot of prudency to convince him that it was okay to ask for help if he needed it.

After many explanations, offers, and begging, he still would not succumb to my pleading. I figured that the only thing I could do to provide him safety was through giving him some company, though I felt impelled to do so much more to help him.

I began to wonder though, what if these drunken wanderings were a recurring issue? What exactly was the current situation (that caused him to harm himself) that he couldn’t extricate himself from? Why didn’t he listen to my sage advice?
When the sun rose, the boy was long-gone, but I stayed, wondering, and worrying.

Autumn

She works conscientiously; with prudence,
And grace.
As audacious as her sisters,
Spring and Summer.
Never lackadaisical,
Or slovenly, like Winter.

Summer,
Is always rankled by her
Pilfering of the bright green pigment
Of the leaves.

When she is done,
There is no trace left of Summer.
And the leaves are left
In tones of
Red, orange, and yellow.
Accompanied by a quiet,
And serene breeze.

When the leaves
Fall off the branches,
And litter the ground in great profusion,
She receives the inkling that it is time for
Winter’s icy winds to claim the land,
And confiscate all her beautiful tones,

Exchanging them for white
And gray.

He Sees...

He sees
your defects;
Sees through
your corny act.
You phony.

He sees
the lies.
You liar.

He's been there,
seen that;
seen those imperfections.
You are flawed.

He knows
all
too
well.

Bitter, bleak
and blind
when he evaluates
himself.

His world
is false;
a fake;
a fraud.

The Boyfriend List

The Boyfriend List by Emily Lockhart, or as printed on the cover of her books: E. Lockhart, is a remarkable book for teenage girls. The protagonist, Ruby, is faced with what seem to be a million problems that have spiraled out of control, consuming her entirely. She is facing all these conflicts at once and with everyone else blinded by lies and rumors, she has no one to back her up. Ruby’s anxiety continues to pile up until she is forced to let out her suppressed feelings in panic attacks.

Ruby is the typical teen and part of the great “Tate Universe.” Ruby, known to pretty much everyone as Roo, isn’t the evil slut she is accused of being. In fact, I would say that it’s the opposite. Roo is perfectly innocent and she’s just trying to hang on while all the Tate drama rips her to pieces.

Her (over-protective) parents, worrying that she may have an eating disorder, or that she may be suicidal, have sent her to a “shrink” to get to the bottom of things. Doctor Z, orders her to write out a boyfriend list to help figure out where all the stress is coming from, something that Ruby doesn’t appreciate at all.

As Ruby goes down the list of her so-called boyfriends she reveals the trauma between the terrible ten days in which she lost her boyfriend, lost her best friend, lost the rest of her friends, became a social outcast, and had graffiti written about her in the girls bathroom. This all dangerously spinning out of control when the rough draft of the boyfriend list falls into the wrong hands. What occurs within those horrible ten days is what turns into the greatest social debacle Ruby has ever known.

The Boyfriend List falls under the coming of age genre of writing, however this story remains unpredictable despite the fact that you may think that it will be the regular, run-of–the-mill story about a girl who likes a boy. This novel kept me guessing at what would happen next. When the next step was finally revealed I felt the pain, confusion, and anger Ruby feels.

This book is a perfect read for teens and I definitely would recommend it. This novel is more geared towards teen girls, but I feel that some boys may enjoy the story too. Although Ruby has been blamed for many things, she is still the girl every reader will want to succeed in the end. At the end of every chapter you will be left hungry for more.

Mom

The pillow that supports;
The blanket that warms.

The light that illuminates the path;
The steady hand that guides.

The meal that nourishes;
The beverage that quenches.


The stream that refreshes;
The ripple that ponders.

The breeze that carries;
The flower that blossoms.

The shield that protects;
The alarm that warns.

The sounding board that listens;
The silence that understands without judgment.

The salt that flavors;
The sugar that sweetens.

The palette that colors;
The composition that sings.

The calendar that marks the day;
The clock that keeps the time.

The friend who you can depend on;
The mother who is always there.